Reviews

Technology Specifically Designed to Make You Look like a Jerk

MP4 Watch

Ever since the TV series Get Smart, people have been trying to mix stupid technology with clothing items and other places a gadget has no business being and the MP4 watch is one of the most stupid gadgets to spawn from this trend. If you’ve never seen one, an MP4 watch is a gadget that can tell time, make you look like a total douchebag, and more…

An MP4 watch is exactly what it sounds like: a movie and audio player that you can wear as a watch. It’s the perfect way to look like a complete jerk, while trying to show all of your friends the bite sized screen and horrible audio of this stupid technology (that doesn’t always tell time). The MP4 watch sounds like a great idea in theory, but is really just a stupid gadget designed for a total douchebag in practice.

Fashion Digital MP4 Watch from happyshoppinglife! MP4 Player Watch

Segway

The word Segway sounds like something a douchebag would ride around on all day and guess what? It actually is. You might not know the Segway by name (unless you’re a full-time jerk), but you’ve more than likely seen one before (hopefully not in that stupid Mall Cop movie). Segways are motorized walkers (vehicles?) that drive at the perfect slow pace that allows everyone to recognize how much of a jerk you are. P.S. You’ll get extra douchebag points for wearing a stupid helmet while riding this gadget.

Bluetooth

The Bluetooth is the hallmark of stupid technology designed to make you like a complete jerk. The cool technology that Bluetooth provides is overshadowed by that douchebag at your job that’s always mistaken for someone that’s talking to himself (obviously no one else would be caught talking to this jerk in person). This hands-free gadget is known for technical issues and a perfect civilian can’t help but look like a total douchebag while sporting this technology.

Bose Headphones

Bose headphones have excellent sound quality, but also provide an excellent way to look stupid while listening to your favorite songs. These headphones are the top of the line, but their size makes anyone wearing them look like a jerk with two speakers glued to their head. The technology put into this gadget is phenomenal, but the design is too impractical for anyone that doesn’t enjoy looking like a douchebag.

Portable DVD Player

What better way for a jerk to transport (and view) outdated technology than with a portable DVD player? The portable DVD player was a hot gadget ten years ago, but nowadays, you’ll look like an obsolete douchebag, while watching your movies on this small device. The small screen and horrible audio quality of this gadget is intended for solo use, and while isolated from the world; watching movies on a portable DVD player will make you look like an inconsiderate jerk.

Dragon Naturally Speaking

Dragon Naturally Speaking is an example of how far technology has come, but if caught using this program, it’ll only show others how much of a douchebag you can be. Dragon Naturally Speaking is a speech to text program that allows one to talk into a microphone and control various tasks on their computer. Um… pick up a keyboard jerk. Using this cool technology in order to have your computer respond to your every beckoning is not what cool technology should be used for.

– You might also enjoy IPaid: 10 Worst Apple Products People Were Dumb Enough to Buy, How to Become Popular on Facebook Without Being a Douchebag, and 100 Annoying Things that Stupid People Say.

Be sure to check out my blog for the latest in technology news.

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